“I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.” // Psalm 139:14-16
Hey all! Thanks for joining me for a special mid-week blog. I wanted to take a minute to share with you guys why today (December 11th) is so significant in my life. Because this day was the day that changed my life.
It was December 11th, 2009. A Friday to be exact. And I went to school, ready for the weekend just like any other eighth grade student, wearing the only pair of skinny jeans I owned. It was lunchtime, and while the rest of the students were finishing up eating and playing outside at recess, a couple of classmates and I decided to forfeit our recess and work on an English project we had due on Monday. My best friend at the time and I went to her locker to get the supplies we needed for the project, and while she dug around in her locker for what we needed, I bent over to pick up a pair of scissors from the ground. Little did I know, that move would change my life forever.
As I bent down to pick up the scissors, I fell to the ground. I looked at my knee, and my kneecap was sitting on the side of my knee. [Sorry, a little graphic, I know]. Out of my automatic reflexes, I shoved it back in place. (Which … disclaimer here … if you ever find yourself in a position where you dislocate something, never try to put it back in the correct place. Get medical attention immediately.)
So there I was. 13 years old, screaming … and I mean screaming … on the hard tile of my middle school hallway. The injury was so intense that I had skipped cry altogether, though there were a few tears shed. The intensity called for screaming. My best friend realized to some degree what had happened and ran down the empty hallway to get the school nurse. I’d never seen her run … let alone that fast … in all my life.
Fast forward a little bit. I went to the doctor and found out that I had in fact dislocated my kneecap.
The reason for this was because of my anatomy (which is another story all in itself). But because of how I was born, my kneecap wasn’t sitting in the groove of the knee like it’s supposed to, but rather it sat on top of the knee, making it vulnerable to dislocation.
Following the injury, I wore a brace for a while, and ultimately March of the following year (three months later) I had a small surgery on it attempts to stabilize it so my kneecap wouldn’t dislocate again. However, that surgery was effective for a little less than a year. My kneecap never dislocated again, but I started to feel it getting ready to. This time, the next surgery was scheduled for the following February (Feb. 2011 by this point). And this was no small surgery like the first one. This one was a whole knee reconstruction. (I won’t go into all those details, but if you really want to know, feel free to ask.) The recovery on this surgery was a bear. And I mean a bear. I couldn’t get out of bed on my own for about a good month. I was in a full leg brace for about six months, and physical therapy lasted eight months. Even then, I had only recovered 75% of my original strength back in that leg.
I couldn’t get out of bed on my own for about a good month. I was in a full leg brace for about six months, and physical therapy lasted eight months. Even then, I had only recovered 75% of my original strength back in that leg.
Now, I know this all sounds dramatic and painful and crazy. And it was. But it was out of this season that I came to know Christ. I had grown up in a Christian home all my life, but it wasn’t until my kneecap popped out that I found an intimate relationship with Him. That I gave Him my whole heart and never looked back.
I had grown up in a Christian home all my life, but it wasn’t until my kneecap popped out that I found an intimate relationship with Him. That I gave Him my whole heart and never looked back.
It’s amazing to me that when I was created in the secret place God knew He wanted to me know Him. And the best way for me to know Him at the young, tender age of 13 would be to position my kneecap so perfectly that at that moment … lost in a season of sin and darkness as a young teenager … that it would dislocate, leaving me on a long road to recovery and many, many days of quiet and peace with Him. The verses above really couldn’t be more perfect for this blog post. God knitted my joints and ligaments and bones together so perfectly so that I may know Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. If my kneecap never would’ve dislocated, I don’t know where I’d be today. It probably wouldn’t be sitting here blogging about Him once a week, or writing a book centered around His amazing love and pursuit of us, or spending quiet time in His word every day.
So often in hardship and trial, we become so upset on what is or isn’t happening that we miss why God is allowing it.
God gets His children’s attention in all sorts of ways. Sometimes it’s dramatic, sometimes it’s subtle. But when He tries to get your attention, don’t turn bitter. Don’t miss it. Don’t miss the call to go away with your Creator, the One who loves you enough to pursue you. Don’t miss the best invitation of your life. Don’t miss the love He wants to show you. So often in hardship and trial, we become so upset on what is or isn’t happening that we miss why God is allowing it. Take a moment and reflect on what’s going on in your life. Is there something going on where God is trying to get your attention? What might He be saying to you today? Don’t be afraid to lean in and listen, because His heart for you is only love. And it’s never too late to look to God and lean into Him, no matter where you’re at in life.
So, that’s it. That’s why December 11th means so much to me, and I could not be more grateful for it. Because it was on that day, my world changed. And because of that very day, I know with God’s grace, day by day, someday we might just all change the world. ❤
Until Next Time,
Stephanie Jaye ❤
P.S.! This song was so, so special to me when I was going through recovery. Please take a listen.