Top 10 Lessons I Learned from the Past Decade

Top 10 Lessons I Learned from the Past Decade

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” // Psalm 90:12

Happy Last Monday of the DECADE!! This is the second blog that I put out this week, because not only is it the last few days of the year, but also of the decade. And if you know me at all, you know I love to reflect on what I’ve learned and am fascinated by how time defines things.

The 2010’s decade has been an interesting one for me. I spent more years out of school than I did in, (which didn’t occur to me until I thought about writing this blog. Seems like I spent more time in school than not!), and a lot happened this decade.

When I think about a span of ten years, I think about how much happens in that time. How much our lives change. The next ten years have the possibility to bring us the most unbelievable joys, the best surprises, and discovering more of our Creator. But before we jump into 2020, I want to take a look back at the 2010’s. Without further ado, here are the top 10 lessons I learned from the past 10 years.

  1. Your obedience to God, no matter what you’re losing now, will always be worth it in the end. This has by far been one of the biggest lessons to span this decade. Obedience is so, so, SO important. And it’s always worth it.
  2. Anxiety is scary, but it’ll pass. I struggled with anxiety like I never have before this past decade. But instead of trying to fight it like I have been, I wish I would’ve known that the body naturally clams itself down–so I don’t have to try obsessively to. Also, to know God as a loving Father instead of a God who expected perfection is a lesson well learned.
  3. Make a difference when and where you can. God gives us seasons–at jobs, with people, in certain areas. Don’t waste that time blending in, trying to hang with the cool crowd, or letting the world bog you down. Make a difference for Jesus in those places and in those moments while you have them (Matt. 5:16). One day it’ll be too late.
  4. Just because the answer is “no” now does not mean it will always be. If you read my blog that came out yesterday, you’ll read that this year was a big one for the two letter word “no”. And honestly, these past few years I’ve seen what I thought were the desires of my heart go left unfulfilled. But in the past decade, I’ve also seen things that I thought were gone for good come back and bring me the most joy I’ve ever had, because they were God’s thing and in God’s timing. No is not always not forever. You can trust God with your hearts desires (Psalm 37:4).
  5. Take time to get alone with Jesus–often and whenever else necessary. There was a period of time during my senior year of high school when I went through a period of losing all of my best friends. (Yeah, you read that right. All.) It was extremely tough, but that’s when I started reading the Bible when I had breaks in between classes and started seeking Him more, and that changed e v e r y t h i n g for me. Even now, I’ve learned that getting alone with Jesus–especially to start my day–is critically important. Seeking His face, His Word, and being with Him in prayer will allow you to grow in your relationship with Him and make space for Him to reveal all He has for you. Do it!
  6. Talking about relationships–don’t romanticize. I didn’t know the damage this could cause until recently. Stay present, keep your head out of the clouds, and seek God in all your romantic endeavors. Trust me, it’ll save you a boatload of heartache.
  7. Ask God to show you His best. This was a h u g e lesson for me a couple years ago. Sometimes our vision can get clouded by doubt, worry, confusion, or impatience that we are tempted to settle for what’s easy, or what’s available now, or simply put, less than God’s best. Do not do this! Ask God to show you His best. But when you do, be prepared to have Him show you what is not His best. That may be hard, but that too will be worth it.
  8. Guard your heart. There’s a reason we’re instructed–above all else–to guard our heart (Proverbs 4:23). Whether it be against bitterness, lust, jealousy, comparison, or something else, it is vital for us to ask God to help us guard our hearts. As the Scripture says, everything we do flows from our heart. If everything flows from it–we better make sure we’re guarding what we allow in it.
  9. You are set free in Christ–start acting like it. This decade, I learned that I am truly loved by the God of the universe. I am set free in Him. He is glorified when I embrace my freedom as a Child of God, when I am who He’s created me to be in ways that honor Him (Psalm 139:1-18). And above all else–He loves me! This was a huge revelation I experienced, and look forward to continuing to learn and walk that out in the new decade.
  10. Enjoy life. Goodness, just enjoy life! I can be so uptight and worried about everything, and yet God gives us all good things to enjoy (John 10:10, 1 Timothy 6:17)! Food, adventure, family, friends, work, whatever! It’s okay to have fun, to enjoy things! So glorify Him and feel free to enjoy life.

Well friends, that’s about it! There are so many more lessons I learned, but these are ones that were big and had lasting impacts from the last ten years. I cannot wait to see what the next ten years brings, and I pray that it’s full of blessing, abundance, and love for all of you.

Until Next Time,

Stephanie Jaye ❤

@stephjayewriter

P.S. — Remember to check out my year-end blog from yesterday, too!

He Knows How It Hurts

He Knows How It Hurts

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet He did not sin.” // Hebrews 4:15

Happy Sunday!

Well, *lets a out a long, deep breath*. If you can’t tell from the title of this blog, I’ve been through a rather trying and painful season these last couple weeks, and honestly they have been some of the most emotionally painful days of my life thus far. Emotions and pain I didn’t know I could feel, wrestling I didn’t know I could handle, and tears I didn’t think would stop.

But as I was going through days of tears, anguish, and hurt, I was constantly reminded of Hebrews 4:15, along with other verses I will share below. And while I was reminded of these verses, I was also reminded of a discussion I had with a couple family members a few months back when another relative was going through a painful period. In the midst of our discussion, these words were spoken, and it changed everything:

He knows how it hurts.

It’s amazing to me that no matter the situation we’re going through in life, Jesus has been through it. We don’t have a God who is distant, far off, or unable to relate. Maybe it’s a breakup, and you think that Jesus couldn’t know what it feels like to have His heart broken. He does. We break His heart every time we choose sin instead of Him, and when people turn away from His love and His gift of eternal life. Maybe it’s a loss of a child, God knows how that feels, too. He gave His one and only Son to be crucified for us, so that we could know Him. He watched as Jesus died, as the nails went through His hands. He knows what that feels like. We could keep going on, but the point is this: God knows how you’re hurting, and He’s right there with you.

God knows how you’re hurting, and He’s right there with you.

In the midst of my situation this past week, Psalm 139:16-18 became my refuge. It says this:

“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with You.”

Through my tears, I was reminded that before I even was born, before I could breath my first breathe, God had all my days written out. None of them come as a surprise, none of them throw Him off His throne, and there is no situation He is not prepared for. I remember saying to myself, “God knew this was coming.”

I said those words, not in an angry way, but to remind myself that God was still there, and since He knew this was coming, He knew how to be there for me, how to help me cope, and how to lead me along.

Since He knew this was coming, He knew how to be there for me, how to help me cope, and how to lead me along.

Maybe you’re in a season of disappointment, discouragement, loss, or pain. Hear me when I say this: God loves you. God sees you. God is still in control. You will be okay.

He’s not angry, He’s not fed up with your pain, He’s not sick of your tears. He’s close, He loves you, and He knows how it hurts.

Do I still feel the pain? Yes. But I know that God is still in control and that His Word promises me His presence and His comfort. Psalm 34:18 tells us, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” God is close, friend. He is closer than ever, and He’s ready to save. He’s not angry, He’s not fed up with your pain, He’s not sick of your tears. He’s close, He loves you, and He knows how it hurts. Come to Him, rest in His arms, and choose to take His hand and trust Him today.

Prayer: Lord, help me to feel You close to me. Remind me that You’re thinking about me — thoughts that are so many I couldn’t even count — and all of them are good, just like Psalm 139:17 says. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for being here for me. Please lead me through as I surrender my hurting heart to You. In Jesus’ Name, amen.

Until Next Time,

Stephanie Jaye

@stephjayewriter

P.S. — Can I pray for you? If you’re hurting today, feel free to reach out via Twitter or Instagram with the handle above, or in the comments below. I’d love to pray for you.

P.P.S. — Stick around, next week we’re going to talk about finding purpose in the hurt and pain. See you then!

God’s Love Casts Out Fear

God’s Love Casts Out Fear

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” // 1 John 4:18

Happy Sunday! This week we’re continuing our series on God’s love in celebration of February, Valentine’s Day, love. You know, all that good stuff.

Something that is crippling in our day and age is fear. Fear, anxiety, depression … all the things. I’ve struggled with this myself, but I’ve learned a lot through it. And one of the things I’ve learned is that if we truly believe God, if we truly take Him at His word, there is nothing to fear.

Now, before I continue, I understand that there are serious conditions that make this subject rather complicated. Please know that this post is not insensitive to that, and this is certainly not medical advice. However, I believe (as an anxiety sufferer myself) that there is nothing more powerful, more healing, and more freeing than believing and standing in the power of God’s promises.

We’re told in 1 John 4:18 that “perfect love drives out fear”. When I read this, I wondered why, if this were true, fear was still penetrating my heart. But when I read on, the verse tells us why. “Fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

When we fear, it’s usually because we aren’t trusting God for who He says He is in some aspect. Here’s a list of reasons, based in who God is, we have no reason to fear:

  1. God is who He says He is. God has given us promise after promise that He is with us, He is for us, and that if we’ve accepted Jesus as our Savior, we are sealed for eternity. We are no longer under wrath but under grace (Heb. 13:5, Rom. 8:31, 6:14).
  2. There’s nothing we can do to make God stop loving us. God doesn’t love us based on what we do, He loves us based on who He is. Because of this, there’s nowhere we can go, and nothing we can do that will make Him stop loving us (Jer. 31:3, Matt. 28:20).
  3. He’s promised to be with us. Because God is over all, through all, and in all, there’s nowhere we can be that He is not (Ps. 139:7-10). Plus, if we know Jesus as our Savior, He’s given us His Holy Spirit that lives in us, and we can never be separated from Him (John 10:28, Rom. 8:38-39).
  4. He already knows every day of our life before we do. Psalm 139:16 tells us, “Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be”. Nothing is a surprise to Him. Nothing takes Him off guard. We can run to Him, secure in His love, because He is unshaken by our storms.
  5. The Bible tells us we haven’t been given a spirit of fear, but of love, power and self-discipline. Literally, as new creations in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17), fear isn’t apart of our DNA. It’s not who we are, and we don’t have to bow to it anymore (2 Tim. 1:7).
  6. There’s resurrection power in us. Romans 8:11 tells us that the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead lives in us. Think about that. That same Spirit that raised the King of Kings from the grave is in us. Think about how powerful that Spirit is. If that Spirit can–and did–raise Jesus from the dead, He is certainly powerful enough to break the spirit of fear in us and set our feet on the path of trusting in God, His love, and lead us in the path of freedom and peace (John 8:36, Luke 1:37, Isa. 26:3).
  7. Because He loves us. This is what 1 John 4:18 talks about. We don’t have to fear God … we don’t have to fear anything! God loves you. You are His child. He sees you as you are and wants you anyways. He knows that you’ve messed up. He knows you’ll mess up before you even do. But that doesn’t change the fact that He loves you. That He sent His Son for you. He is your father, and you are His child. Where there used to be fear, God now offers mercy, grace, and His unending love for you, His child. There is no place for fear in that.

Love is the opposite of fear. And because of Jesus, there is never a reason to fear. Fear is everything opposite of what the Scriptures tell us, everything opposite of who God is, the way He loves. This week, mediate on some of these promises. What is causing you fear in your own life? Is it because you’re not trusting God in some area? What promise of Scripture can you apply to that. Even when you don’t think you can go another moment under the weight of fear, remember His promises and proclaim them. This is where your freedom … and His love … is found.

Because of God’s love, we don’t have to fear. And if we believe that and live like it’s true, someday we might just change the world ❤

Until Next Time,

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@stephanie_jacqu

P.S.! The topic of fear is HUGE, and so I’ve decided to dedicate the whole month of March to this topic. Stay tune for that series in just a couple weeks and let’s experience freedom together!

His Sovereignty Over Our Surrender

His Sovereignty Over Our Surrender

“He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them His way. All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful toward those who keep the demands of His covenant.” // Psalm 25:9-10

I think one of the biggest reasons we as human beings get into trouble is because we’re trying to take hold of our own lives. As humans, and especially as Christ-followers, we’re not made to do this. We know that from the very beginning of time, God created us for a relationship with Him. He was going to be our Father, our Provider, our Protector. And while we sinned and went astray, His design and heart for our lives never changed.

We know that from the very beginning of time, God created us for a relationship with Him. He was going to be our Father, our Provider, our Protector. And while we sinned and went astray, His design and heart for our lives never changed.

If you’ve been around the church for any amount of time, you’ve heard the word surrender. In fact, when you got saved, you probably heard someone tell you about surrendering your life to God. It’s funny how we can trust our eternity to God by accepting Jesus as our Savior, as sufficient payment for our sins, but yet we have a hard time trusting-or surrendering-our every day lives to Him. Yet that’s exactly how we’re supposed to live.

If you joined me a couple weeks ago, I talked about the hardest lesson I’ve had to learn in life. Today’s post kind of goes along with that same theme. But I’m convinced the only way to God’s best in life is to trust Him and follow Him every step of the way. And the only way we can do that is by surrendering to Him.

The thing is, surrender is scary. I think a lot of Christians are afraid to surrender their lives to God because they fear God is going to make them do something horrible.

The thing is, surrender is scary. I think a lot of Christians are afraid to surrender their lives to God because they fear God is going to make them do something horrible. Like marry the weirdest guy on your street, or make you pursue a job you’re going to absolutely hate. But guys, that’s not how God works. He may call us to places we’d never expect, situations that might even scare us at the moment, but when we lay down our pride, our expectations, and our desires, that allows God to give us His very best.

Think of it this way: He made you. He made you with certain passions, certain interests, and certain gifts. He knows the best way for you to use what He has equipped you with.

Think of it this way: He made you. He made you with certain passions, certain interests, and certain gifts. He knows the best way for you to use what He has equipped you with. He knows the kind of guy you’ll like, because He made you to like someone like that. He knows the kind of job that’ll light you up inside and bring Him glory because He put that fire inside of you when He was knitting you together so beautifully in your mother’s womb (Ps. 139:13-16). He knows the ministry you’re going to love doing because that’s what He equipped you to do.

When we surrender to God–going where He leads, doing what He’s made us to do–not only will we find joy, peace, and relationship with Him, but He’s going to get all the glory from us, and ultimately from others impacted by your obedience. If we as followers of Jesus would just let go and trust the very One who created us, we’d find ourselves right where He wants us. And no plan of our own is better than that.

If we as followers of Jesus would just let go and trust the very One who created us, we’d find ourselves right where He wants us. And no plan of our own is better than that.

I love Psalm 25:9-10. It reads, “He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them His way. All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful toward those who keep the demands of His covenant.” Did you see that? All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful. Guys, that’s who God is. Those are His intentions. Every. Single. Time. Loving and faithful.

All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful. Guys, that’s who God is. Those are His intentions. Every. Single. Time. Loving and faithful.

So when you find yourself scared of surrender, remind yourself of this verse. This God who made you, who sent His one and only Son to die for you, is sovereign over everything. All His ways are loving and faithful. And because He can’t change, that simple truth never will.

When we let go and let God take control, someday we might just change the world ❤

Until Next Time,

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@stephjayewriter

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”

Matthew 16:24

P.S.!! Next Sunday I’m starting a new series for the month of February on GOD’S LOVE. See you next week!